Dating Christian singles: finding someone with the right values online

March 27, 2008 – 12:49 pm

The dating scene can be tough. We’ve all heard the saying, “All of the good ones are either married or taken.”

While this is not entirely true, more than a few have sympathized with this sentiment at times.

You may even have uttered this saying yourself. The truth is that many are getting tired of sorting through what’s “left over” to find their perfect mate. Values seem to have taken the backseat.

In fact, it can be quite a challenge to find a mate who has the same values as you do, especially if your values are founded in faith or are considered old fashioned.
The first thing that you can do to better your chances of finding someone who has the same values as you is to search for your mate online.

There are many Christian dating websites that cater to those of faith and those with faith-based values. While choosing a date from a Christian dating site does not guarantee your success, it could help.

Unlike mainstream dating sites, Christian websites have fewer people posting dubious profiles or solicitations for one night stands. That’s not to say that there aren’t any.

As with all things virtual, you need to protect yourself and ask questions. But, statistically speaking, there are more people looking for people with Christian values on Christian websites than there are on mainstream sites.
This could only help improve your chances.

The first insight that you have into someone’s values online is through their dating profile. Read every single word. Be sure to look for indicators that will tell you exactly what kind of person they are.

Remember; just because someone says they are a Christian does not mean that they have the same values as you. There are many value variations among Christians.

Always be sure to ask questions. If you don’t ask, how will you know? Make a list of all of the things that are important to you. Categorize them according to which ones you cannot live without and those which you can compromise on. Share your expectations with those you meet and chat with online.

See how they respond. If they respond favorably, it is possible that they have a similar value system as you.

Avoid being overly strict. Nobody you meet is going to be perfect. The more unrealistic your expectations, the less likely it is that you will be able to find a mate to suit you. Find only those core values that mean the most to you and try to find a mate that reflects these same values.

Comparing values does not stop when you take your relationship live. Anybody can say anything they want to in a profile and chat box.

Observe your new flame to see if his or her actions are in accordance with the values that they say they hold dear. If there are major discrepancies, call it off. Don’t waste time with someone who has not been completely honest with you.