Dating website tips: spotting honesty during an online chat
March 20, 2008 – 10:02 am
When you meet someone in person for the first time, there are many clues that you can look for in order to tell if the person is honest or not.
Body language is a big one. Do they look you in the eye when they are talking to you? Are they tense or relaxed? Is their personality warm and caring or is it cold and shady? These are all great questions to ask yourself when you meet someone. But what if you meet someone online through an online dating website?
Email and chat boxes are not very personal, and it can be difficult to tell who’s being honest and who’s not. You could go months with an image of someone only to have it shattered the first time you meet them.
Is it a gamble, then? Or are there ways that you can tell if someone is being honest with you online? The following tips will help you sort it out:
- Consistency – People who are dishonest have big problems with consistency. They can’t remember what they’ve told you versus what they’ve told someone else, and they often make mistakes. If a person tells the same stories with consistent detail each time they tell them, they are likely telling the truth. If someone always bumbles a story and has to back peddle to make it all make sense again, they are being dishonest.
- Outlandishness – We’ve all heard the saying – ‘if it seems too good to be true, it probably is’. The same can be said when dealing with people online. If it seems like your online date is stretching the truth, you’re probably right. Outlandish stories of heroism and great wealth are often just that, stories.
- Openness – People who are open and forthcoming with information about themselves are often honest people, especially if the information is less than flattering.
- Humility – Humble people are often honest people. Look for humbleness in correspondence and pay attention to the way they treat you in the chat box. If they are humble and respectful in nature, they will be honest with you out of humility and respect.
- Follow up – Have they followed up like they said they would? Do they log in to chat with you when they say they will? Never buy a line without expecting something in return. If they say they are going to email or chat with you at a certain time and fail to, maybe they are not as interested as they say they are.
Most people who have had bad experiences with online dating will tell you that there were warning signs from the very beginning.
Hindsight is 20/20, but you need to be able to predict the future. Doing your homework today can save you a lot of grief and heartache in the future. Make sure that your online dates are who they say they are by looking for honesty in the chat box.
