Gay dating: when to introduce your new man to your family

March 27, 2008 – 12:45 pm

It doesn’t matter if you’re gay or straight. When you meet someone that you’re excited about, you can’t wait to introduce them to everyone, and I mean everyone.

You have a couple of dates and all of a sudden you’re convinced that he’s the boy you’re ready to settle down with.

So, you take him home to meet mom and dad who aren’t very enthusiastic about your gay lifestyle to begin with. So what happens? That one doesn’t work out.

Neither does the next. And you’re left standing with your hands empty after you’ve paraded a handful of prospects before your parents. All this does is validate their feelings that you should just find a nice girl and settle down.

What are you doing wrong? You’re introducing your dates to your family too early. You have no idea how these relationships are going to turn out.

You just know that you’re excited and having fun. It can be tempting to scream it from the rooftops, but you shouldn’t. You should only introduce those who you are really serious about to your family.

But you say, “I am serious.” You may be, but how can you be sure that he is? How can you be sure that he really is the one?

Here are a few guidelines to help you decide when you should bring your guy home to meet the family:

Date Factor – How many dates have you been on? You should only introduce someone to your family that you have been dating for a good length of time. Two to three months is ideal. This is the amount of time that it takes to get to know each other and to decide whether or not the relationship is worth pursuing.

Comfort Level – Don’t spring a surprise meeting on anyone. Make sure that your partner and your parents are ready to meet each other. Don’t put anybody on the spot; it just makes everyone uneasy. You should also avoid fishing for compliments and trying to sway your parents’ feelings about your boyfriend. Let them make their own deductions. Give them a chance to see him for who he truly is.

Holiday Express – Never bring your date to holiday functions to meet your family for the first time. Extended family, yes; immediate family, no. Be sure to introduce them during a neutral and less hectic time when they can really get to talk and learn about one another.

Knowing when to bring that special someone home to meet the parents can be confusing. Before you do, make sure that the relationship is serious and going to get even more serious.

Make sure everyone is comfortable with the meeting and introduce your boyfriend to your parents in a casual setting. A nice dinner out is often ideal. Remember; let your guy do his own talking. Let your parents see why you’re so crazy about him. Maybe, just maybe, they will be just as crazy about him as you are.