Lesbian dating online: questions to ask on the site before meeting

March 18, 2008 – 3:03 pm

There is no doubt that online dating sites have proven to be a major boost to many lesbians’ social lives.

Where else can you meet dozens of singles within a short amount of time? Where else can you pick and choose your dates, weeding out the bad ones before you meet them? Nowhere!

The truth of the matter is that online dating is one of the best ways to hook up with the lesbian lady of your dreams.

If you haven’t tried online dating, it’s time that you do. How do you start? Get online, browse some profiles and send a few winks or kisses.

Follow up with emails until you meet someone who is worth getting to know more. Once you find her, be sure to ask these questions:

  • Are you out? - Being with a partner who is not out can be a very painful experience. Years of being the “friend” or “roommate” can take a toll on the relationship and leave you feeling unappreciated and ignored. Before meeting someone who is not out, you need to be sure that you can handle the consequences of being with someone who is still in the closet. Don’t enter a relationship with the goal of changing the person. Coming out is a personal journey and is not one to be facilitated by you.
  • Do you want kids? – When it comes to having kids, there are lesbians on both sides of the fence. If having kids is something that is important to you or something that is a deal breaker, you need to know how your prospective partner feels before you make a commitment.
  • What are your goals? – You should always choose a partner whose goals are similar to your own. The key to any successful relationship is to be able to grow, learn and build together. If you take different paths, this will be difficult to do.
  • How do you handle your finances? – There is a lot more involved with this question than how well your prospective partner pays her bills. You also need to talk about how finances would be structured if you were to pursue a life together. Would you have joint accounts or would everything be kept separate? Do either of you have domestic partner insurance? What would you save for? Would you own property together?

When you ask these questions through email or instant messaging, you have the opportunity to glimpse the person underneath the screen name. If your goals are not similar, it is also less painful to call it quits than it would be if you dated the person and had formed an emotional attachment to them.

Traditionally, these questions are asked during courtship, but online lesbian dating gives you the opportunity to find these important matters out before you invest your time and heart into a relationship that is doomed to failure. This is only one of the benefits of online dating, so have a go and good luck!