Older woman, younger man: assessing your dating goals

March 26, 2008 – 4:05 pm

Online dating websites have made it easier than ever for older women to find the perfect younger man. If you’re looking for a younger man, the best place for you to start is online.

But before you start browsing profiles, you should assess your dating goals. It is only when you have a clear idea of what your goals are that you can achieve the results that you really want.

People date for many different reasons. Some are looking for their soul mate; others are looking for a casual, no-strings-attached night out.

There are many more that fall somewhere between these two distinctions. If you are not sure what you are looking for, you need to find out. Your goals will determine how you look for a younger man and how you choose the one you want to date.

If you’re looking for a soul mate but can’t seem to find someone as serious about commitment as you, you are going about it the wrong way. You need a change in strategy, but first, let’s see what kind of man you’re looking for:

  • Fun, Excitement and Adventure – If you’re looking for the time of your life minus the heavy emotional baggage that comes along with a serious relationship, you are a casual dater. Casual daters can have one or more men that they talk to; the number really isn’t important. What are important are your expectations. There are no strings, no commitments in this type of relationship. There is no goal in mind. You will continue seeing one another as long as it’s fun. When it’s not fun anymore, you will drift apart.
  • Slow and Steady – If you’re open to the natural progression of a relationship but are not ready to settle down anytime soon, you are a committed dater. You will talk to one person and really get to know that person. You enjoy close bonds and relationships that are strengthened through time. You also enjoy your life and are not quite ready to share it with someone, but you are open to the idea as long as it happens in the future.
  • Rush to the Finish Line – If you want to get married in the near future, you are looking for a marriage partner. You only want to talk to people who are serious about you and serious about commitment. You want to meet people who are tired of the dating scene and ready to settle down.

In the normal course of a lifetime, both women and men will change their dating goals. The key to developing a successful relationship is to choose a partner with the same goals as you.

If you pursue casual relationships in the hopes that they will grow into something more, you are asking for heartache. You need to be upfront and honest with yourself about what you want. Once you know what you want, look for a partner who wants the same thing.