Older woman / younger man dating: handling society’s pressures

March 27, 2008 – 12:06 pm

While nobody wants to live their life to please society, negative social reactions can take their toll on a relationship.

Take for instance the negativity that older women experience when they try to date a younger man.

Men have been dating younger women throughout history without the backlash that many older women face today.

Many women find themselves under immense pressure when they choose to date a younger man. And this pressure does not only come from strangers, it comes from within the family as well.

If you are facing a similar situation, there are things that you can do to deal with the negativity that you feel coming from those around you. The following tips will help you out:

Ignore It – If there is a noticeable age difference between you and your date, you may notice subtle glances and outright curiosity from strangers in the community. You may even hear snickering and snide remarks aimed in your direction. Just ignore it. Think of it this way: Most of the attention that you are attracting is not negative attention at all. There are many women who would love to be in your position, and they can’t help but look. As for the negative comments? Ignore these as well. You don’t know these people. How much can they hurt you?

Have a Talk – When the negativity is closer to home, you may be able to deal with it by having a conversation with the person who is disapproving. Simply sit down with the disapproving family member or friend and see what their concerns are. Do not confront the person. Hold a conversation with them. They could have very good reasons for feeling the way they do. Once you address these reasons and put their fears to rest, they will likely become agreeable to the situation.

Assert Authority – Sometimes it will become necessary for you to assert authority over your own life. This is especially true if the negativity you experience is coming from your grown children. Children have a hard time seeing their mother as anyone else but their mother and your actions could be shocking them. If this is the case, simply remind them that you are a grown woman who is able and responsible enough to make her own decisions.

Believe in Yourself – Do not let other people’s negativity get to you. Do not start questioning your right to date who you want to date. Nobody else has to deal with the choices that you make but you. Remember that.
Have hope. Our society is becoming increasingly tolerant of people from all different types of relationships. No it’s not perfect. You will still find some people who are disapproving. Ignore these people and embrace those who are supportive of your relationship. There is too much negativity in the world. You should always strive to have positive influences in your life. When an influence stops being positive, try to find ways to lessen its impact on your life.